Why do young kids do opposite to what they are told to do?

 It is commonly said in various societies that if you want to tell a child not to do something, it is better you tell them to do it. Where does that come from, and how does it come about?

Self-concept,
emotional and moral aspects are the aspects that concern personality
development. For the period between 2 to 6 years, there is a development of the
self-concept that starts with self-awareness and includes self-esteem as well
as gender identity. Towards the end of the later infancy period, infants can
recognise themselves through the mirror, they can specify their name, their
sex, their skills, etc., and compare themselves with others. They are also
aware of social acceptance.

3-year old children are characterised by the personality crisis also known as the opposition crisis. It is the expression
of self-assertiveness. The child opposes others to express his/her autonomy and
independence, which is made possible by the ability to walk and to speak the
language of his environment.

Considering
the expression of their emotions, their happiness is quite spontaneous. They
jump up and down, clap their hands, and laugh out loud, etc. to indicate their
joy and excitement. Fear, which is caused by a specific object or situation,
and anxiety which refers to specific reactions that a child experiences during
anticipated or actual separation from the parent or caregivers, is traumatic
and influences later adjustment and functioning. 

Children’s reactions to
separation can be divided into protest, despair and detachment phases. During
the protest phase, children cry a great deal and search for their parents.
Then, there is increasing despair over the possibility that the parents will
never come back. For the last phase, children show interest in their
environment and if the parents return, they can reject them.

Complex emotions like shame, embarrassment that starts to emerge at 18
months continue to develop during early childhood. Empathy, which refers to
a person’s understanding of others’ situations and feelings, develops.
Pre-schoolers learn avoidance strategies as a means to control or regulate their
emotions and start masking an emotional state for example, not to cry in front
of a friend.